Shame

Yesterday I was granted an opportunity to share my story. Shame used to hide my story I was always afraid of what others would think and fearful of being rejected more.

I think that is a normal fear of all people even if we say we don’t care, we are lying and just trying to protect ourselves from being hurt or worse being found and exposed. I think that is why we are looking for acceptance in things that we think wont ever leave, judge, or tell us what we are doing is wrong.

It is crazy to think that 8 years ago life was so different. I was living in the dark, I had no concept of reality- you could say I was living in an “alternate reality”. I was not living the way God prescribed for me to live. The manual was there I just was uninterested in finding out the truth even though that is what I claimed I was searching for. Truth can be scary- because it challenges what I think I know and prompts me to change.

Today I was reading in 1 John, and John is the apostle of intimacy. One of the things John is concerned about it’s our fellowship and our closeness with the Lord which affects our closeness with other people.

In the letter, John says, “that this is the message that we’ve heard from Him(Jesus) and declare to you. God is light and there’s absolutely no darkness in him” 1 John 1:5

The thing about light is that it reveals things as they truly are. Light is truth, and truth when applied enhances life. I always think of little cockroaches, and when you turn on the light they always scatter. They don’t want to be seen and they want to do what they were doing in the dark, in the secret. Shame keeps people from the light.

If we want God‘s presence and activity in our life we have got to allow him to shine his light and expose our sinful thoughts, attitudes, speech, and actions. Take courage there’s nothing new under the sun, and the things that you struggle with are not uncommon. Give it over to the Lord ask him for help, and practice the truth. 

Our fellowship with God is determined by our walk, not our talk. John knew this, that is why He was passionate in telling us. 

So my prayer today is that the Lord shine His light into my life. Show me where I am not living in reality but stumbling in the dark. Align my thoughts with yours and help me to practice your truth today